NOTE: At the time of my title year I still saw my gender as female and used she/her pronouns.

Midori said “The impulse to change and create is woven in with the fears from within our shadow. Creation is uncomfortable. Change is unsettling. Embrace the fear. Embrace the creation. Embrace the change.”

In leather, we revere our past but sometimes forget that change and growth are what makes events like this possible. The leatherfolks who came before us forged a better future which we now enjoy. In order to continue to grow and follow in the spirit of those that came before us, we must keep making choices and being the change that drives our community forward into even greater futures. 

I see a path to this great future, it involves 2 simple rules and I think by following them we will be able to co-create an even better community.  

1. Be Yourself: “Find out who you are and do it on purpose.” Dolly Parton

In 2016, I came out to my parents as Pagan, Polyamorous, Pansexual and kinky in a soul-bearing letter that took me 4 years to write. I sent that letter because I realized my family didn’t know the real me and I wanted them to.

    In response to this, my father told me I was sick, that I didn’t know myself and couldn’t ever be happy because it was all a twisted lie. When I gave him a respectful boundary, I was called a coward  and yet I still live my life openly even though it can bring judgment and pain.

    The sorrow you feel from a loved one’s rejection can be a soul-crushing thing, I’ve experienced it several times but it is always a powerful lesson. I’ve learned and evolved from the bliss and pain inherent in a life lived authentically. 

2) Be Accepting: The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.” Nathaniel Branden

   I’ve always known I was a teacher and I’ve often found myself in male-dominant arenas, in part because I know that as a person I can handle anything, but I also know that who I am as a person proves that ability is not limited to gender. 

   We can all agree that people are far more complicated than basic labels like gender or sexual preference. I get to see this every time I hold class as a pet trainer or play as a fox pet in a predominantly male pup community. 

    Often I’m complimented on my courage for being a visible femme player in that community,  but I’ve also been blatantly ignored because I am a visible femme person in a position of leadership who won’t make excuses for being there. 

Frankly, it’s dumbfounding that some would try to limit others access because of prejudices. This community has strong roots in bringing people together, people who see each other for what’s on the inside, This community is place of extreme acceptance and as we are fond of saying “Equality barks”. 

These experiences taught me that even in an accepting community, discrimination can happen and challenges can arise but that we can always overcome them. Being brave through challenges helps us grow and grants us power.

There it is. Nothing earth shattering. Be yourself and Be accepting.

Experience has taught me that if I stand with my empowered, authentic self, people will WANT to know the truth instead of clinging to fears. Empowerment comes through honesty and vulnerability. 

This in the world today is slightly terrifying because of the possibility of rights being removed, loved ones being taken away, violence being done to us, or even death coming for us. The world at large has proven that there is plenty to fear but it’s also shown us that with a unity of heart and an empowered community; change and improvement is possible. 

By knowing yourself and practicing acceptance we can create the community we need now. We don’t have to wait. 

We can have affirming, vibrant individuals who take joy in what they create and the positive changes they bring to their own lives and the lives of those around them. 

I challenge you to own your identity with joy. I challenge you to embrace change and share your own beautiful, shameless life with pride. 

NOTE: At the time of my title year I still saw my gender as female and used she/her pronouns.

On May 20 at The Metro Music Hall, the inaugural Ms. Leather SL❤UT and the 2nd annual Mr. Leather SL❤UT competition was held following the first Utah Leather Pride Festival.

Four contestants were competing for the Ms. Title, and three for the Mr. Title. The contestants completed judges interviews, pop questions, speeches, and entertained the crowd during the contest.

After the judges’ scores and crowd ballots were received and counted, Leftenant Fox was named Ms. Leather SL❤UT 2018 and Nicholas Cendese was named Mr. Leather SL❤UT 2018.

When asked for asked for comment, Fox said, “I’m still in a bit of shock. I didn’t expect to win, only to convey my love of the community and my authentic self. I’m very happy and grateful for this title that affects the community I live in. I know that I’ve been entrusted with a community service title and I must make sure that’s honored by ensuring the communities I participate in are heard and empowered to serve their own authentic expression and radical self-acceptance. I want a better world and I want to create the space for everyone to accomplish that.”

Cendese added, “Winning the title has been a wonderful experience and has given me an opportunity to talk about our leather community to many others who may not know about us. My “vanilla” life came out in major support, and what a wonderful feeling that I’m truly accepted and welcomed for who I am. Going to International Mister Leather on the heels of winning the title was an experience all its own — you have no idea of the real provocative power of Mr. Leather SL❤UT [sewn] on the back of your vest until people start calling out at you on the street.”

Nick Cendese shares his aspirations as Mr. Leather
It’s been two months or so since the competition, and it’s been exciting to see where things are going. Both Leftenant Fox, Ms. Leather SL❤UT 2018, and I have been making the rounds and working hard to show up for the many events going on in town. I know one of our primary goals for the year is to be visible and present in our community. By doing so, I know that people will see the pride we have in our leather identities and, hopefully, encouraged to embrace themselves fully.

Fox is working hard on some wonderful community health initiatives. But for me, I’m trying to take things one week at a time. I’m currently working hard to launch a new group call GearUP SLC — a group open to everyone who loves gear of all kinds.

The thought behind the group — open to all identities — is to get together once a quarter and head out on the town in our gear. I want to create events that show our gear-kink pride to the LGBTQ community in Utah and hopefully others, instigate conversations with non-kinky folks, and be out in the world as a group. I’m looking into launching the event as soon as the weather cools down. And hopefully, I can get local businesses on board and plan fun events that allow Salt Lake’s amazing kink/fetish/leather community to collide with the incredible arts and culture we have in Salt Lake City.

Beyond this first initiative, we’ll have to see where things go. Right now, I have a million and one ideas and don’t know where things will settle or what is the next project.

“Leftenant Fox” on her goals as Ms. Leather
On May 20, 2018, I was entrusted with the Community Service Title of Ms. Leather SL❤UT under the scene name of “Leftenant Fox”. It’s the first title for women of its kind in Utah history. I hope, throughout the following year, that my fundraising for local organizations will empower and better the LGBTQA+ communities of Utah.

I’m writing this letter to those interested in joining me during my service year. I’m seeking people who can donate time, services, space for events and fundraisers, and provide information about the Leather scene.

But what is Leather? A member of our community, Mina Hart, summed it up well, “Leather is about the freedom to express oneself authentically and without judgment. Leather is about honoring oneself and others, keeping our history close to our hearts while forging on, creating new experiences and traditions. Leather is about integrity and holding on to your beliefs and values no matter what storms you may weather. And Leather is about respect for me, my community, and for the beliefs and traditions of others.”

To me, Leather is about wholehearted authenticity, awareness, and education. As a LeatherWoman, I’m contributing to a world of people not only encouraged but empowered to live their lives unabridged, unedited, and unencumbered by shame or hatred.

This title is a mechanism for me to elevate what I already choose to do. I will seek to unite sex-positive Utahns; I will pursue not merely tolerance of our differences but also acceptance and increased understanding of one another. And I will devote myself to promoting authenticity and love for people of all identities, titles, and labels.

I believe that genuine compassion and understanding comes through lives lived authentically. My thirst for knowledge drives me to improve every day. My devotion to empathy fuels my motivations for a meaningful network of support. And my volunteering and organizing among the pagan, LGBTQA, polyamory, and LeatherPeople populations are how I can affect and improve the well-being of individuals for the benefit of all. I will strive toward this better, more compassionate, unified, shameless future.

My mission, summed up in one word: Accessibility. Accessibility is being visible, participating, and being active at local LGBTQA+ and Kink events around Utah and the Intermountain West. This visibility will help the process of destigmatizing and normalizing the lives of so many genuine and honest people. Some of the goals I set are:

Create LGBTQA+ volunteer groups to conduct service in the SLC community.
Co-host “Gear-up Salt Lake City” with Mr. Leather SL❤UT, Nick Cendese, where groups share a meal, attend various performances, and socialize as proud Leather individuals.
Support and network with Mr. Leather SL❤UT, The Royal Court of the Golden Spike, Rocky Mountain Person of Leather, Rocky Mountain Puppy and Trainer, Utah Bears, Inc., Transgender Inclusion Project, and other local and regional titleholders and organizations with their service goals.
Created a community health program, “Healthy Pride Day”, held at the Utah Pride Center 1 to 3 times a year.
Create increased accessibility to accurate STI, HIV/AIDs testing and education, plus sex and health education through partnerships with the Utah Aids Foundation, the Huntsman Cancer Institute, Clinic 1A, the Transgender Health Clinic at the Madsen Clinic, ARUP Volunteer Phlebotomists, and several others.
Created a “Gender Level-up Day” happening in November 2018. It’s to build stronger, affirming communities by putting together Gender Affirming “starter kits” with gift certificates for accessories, clothing, and makeup, given away at the Gender Level-up events and the Youth/Trans support programs.
Host events to teach transgender and genderqueer individuals about makeup, hair, and styling skills at UPC.
My ultimate mission is to create unity through accessibility in the LGBTQ+ and Sex-Positive communities of Utah. Because our most important work is never done alone.

NOTE: At the time of my title year I still saw my gender as female and used she/her pronouns.

My name is Leftenant Fox. My pronouns are She/Her and I am your 2018 Ms. Leather, Salt Lake Utah. Like all title holders, I am happy that I don’t have a time limit and that I can read from a paper. Also like all title holders I can not believe this year is over. The view from this stage last year was terrifyingly vast and I didn’t know if I could actually do the inaugural Ms. Leather title justice or even if I really was worthy. It was a remarkably blank canvas but luckily I am a creatrix and not unlike Juniper Fox I colorfully paw painted my story by bouncing off the walls and generally being a “wild fox with a leather title.”

In my title speech I said that I saw a path to a great future, and it involved 2 simple rules to co-create a better community (notice it’s not specifically leather): Be yourself and Be accepting.
I can not think of two more difficult or painful rules to follow in this world today because of the vulnerability it takes to do so. Terrifying as it is, society around us is sliding backwards into a more restrictive past where being yourself means having human rights revoked by your state and country. Where being visible as our authentic selves will get you hurt or killed.
Today being accepting of yourself and others paints a target on your back. A target for the small minded who call you weak and invaluable. They threaten your rights and safety purely because of who you are. They have taken my rights, you better believe they are coming for yours.

This year has taught me many things. First it’s taught me that title shit is impossible alone. To my beloved polynest Ender Wiggin, My protector and viking and to Hillarie Jill my love and badger Queen- Thank you for staying next to me, especially during storms of my own making. As my home I know I’ve unfairly dumped the stress of this title and my own growing pains on you both, for that I can never apologize enough. For all the late nights, diplomatic lessons ( a.k.a please don’t say that fox), early mornings, full days, snuggle piles, kisses, rides to the airport, and overall love and support- thank you from the places in my heart reserved just for you.
To my cherished Menagerie family (Bruff Lingel, O-Sama, Ron Finch, Mist, Constance Crane,
John Syzygy, and Josie) Thank you for all the edits, idea bouncing, more diplomatic lessons, education and affections.
To my people (Russell Boltz, Mac Sue, Fenris Ulfers, Emily Angelline, Brooklin Mercer, Kit Bauhaus, Dax Pupper, Poseidon Alexander, Nick Kitty, Mike Tailor, Moxie Minion, Drakkos Darke and Adeena Gentle) you have without a doubt kept me alive. I would have quit without all those who let me rant, cry, warpath and brainstorm. They gave me space to make mistakes and make a fool of myself. They also stuck with me, constantly gave me perspective and support. I love you all so much.
This year has taught me that educating at 8 cons never mind half of them being some of our nation’s biggest, is nearly impossible without a handler or at the very least someone to shove food in my face. I’ve learned that I will always be happy to see bootblacks, lunchables (Chris Pan) are worth their weight in gold and coffee needs to be hardlined into my system.
I’ve learned that family is everywhere and that family recognizes each other immediately Jesbian Bagheera, Teagan Bootblack, Lucky Ordaz, Barda, Zak Rittenhouse, Haley Alice,
Michael Blacksmith, Metis Black, Brian Oakes and Awe-Kitty. #sorrynotsorry ya’ll are stuck with a fox now.

This year has taught me that joyful advocacy rooted in compassion fueled by internal fires of truth is what is needed to survive. It’s taught me that the connections with the courageous every-day warriors of our city and communities feed me. It’s taught me how to reign in my own firestorm and learn some fucking diplomacy. It gave me my desired field of study in Anthropology with community health management focus and possibly set me on the path to becoming a physician.
It’s taught me that despite attempts to censor and control me, I’m always going to loudly walk my own path hosting my own parade of half wild, desperately beautiful maniacs dancing beside me with ecstatic abandon, banging the drums of our own making.

The night of my win my girlfriend placed a tag on my boot that says “N-C” which stands for non-compliant from the Bitch Planet graphic novels. I am a proud, opinionated, passionate, and bossy woman. There are those that would want to see me regulated to female spaces only, because I have a Miss title and that is strictly who I’m supposed to serve but you know what? I do not accept that.I am non-compliant.
Ms. Leather means I’m an unapologetic, visible voice for not just my gender, sexual identity, or sexual expression but I (for one year, at least) am that unapologetic advocate for all authentic people to our larger Utah community.
Holding the inaugural title means that I have the honor of setting the stage for what I want this title to be. My title children are creative feminists who advocate for everything that is good in this world. They are Diana Prince,Carol Danvers, or Leia Organa. They are motherfucking women who stand in their power and don’t apologies for taking up space. We are not compliant.

For my title speech, we were asked to present in formal leathers and I wore a white pin up dress, rope, and heels with not a stitch of leather on my person. Several people questioned my choice before that night and I am sure more than a few people questioned why I ran for a leather title at all. I remembered I was once told “Leather is not about the item, it’s about authenticity and attitude.” This run was my chance to really show who I am (the first rule) and that I accepted and embraced it (the second rule)
That night I knew my most authentic outward self expression was to embody an icon of feminine empowerment, the american pin-up. Supporters of early pin-up content considered it to be a “positive post-Victorian rejection of bodily shame and a healthy respect for female beauty.” It encourages erotic self-awareness and self expression and allows women to change everyday cultural views by saying “Yes, I’m worthy of attention and proud to be myself.” We succeed in the feminist aim of changing the rigid, patriarchal terms and ideas and reclaim what makes women amazing. That’s pretty damn leather. In your face and unapologetic that I turn you on, that I enjoy my own body and I love my life. To me, pin-up is my first rebellion, my leather.
Of course nothing comes into existence without resistance. In venting to Raven Darknights about the struggle of being a title holder especially in our state as a woman, they reminded me that “Well behaved women rarely make history”

The night of my win I was told my title project wasn’t possible, it had already been done and wouldn’t work and that if I didn’t go through the right channels and do things in the expected way, I would be blocked and I wouldn’t get any help.

6 months later I was partnering with the not only the city and state’s premier health care centers but the nation’s best and the world’s best youth and adult transgender/LGBTQA+ physicians, psychologists, and health care providers.

The inaugural #MsLeather Salt Lake, Utah title partnered with Planned Parenthood, Utah AIDS Foundation, Huntsman Cancer Institute, Clinic 1A, The University of Utah PrEp clinic, The Transgender Health Programs at the University of Utah, University of Utah Hospital and clinics, ARUP laboratories, Associates of Colon and Rectal surgery, Utah Pride Center psychologists, counselors, volunteers and staff, Utah Sex Positive Education, and many other health care volunteers and businesses.
Together we hosted Utah’s first transgender health day and Utah’s first LGBTQA+ Bi annual community health event- with testing, screening, classes, and instructional seminars at the new Utah Pride Center.
Nothing like this had ever been done before and the result was incredible because we came together and I think it is because kink reached outside of itself and into the muggle community, which we belong to, so that we could share our experiences, knowledge and the simple fact that we exist.
At our Transgender/Gender Queer event, “Gender Level UP” we had 25 health care providers, 15 lecturers, 10 health clinic and affirming business booths. We had 50 people walk through the pride center doors and become connected with providers that support, affirm, and advocate for them. 50 utahns said “I want to be connected, I want to be empowered, I want to be myself” 50 trans, gender queer individuals and their supporting family said to those in our government, that they mattered, that they were here, that they had voices and that they would not be ignored.
At our Healthy Pride event in March (One more event in September) we had over 100 people come and receive care and connections.

I joked with my judges and producer that the idea for the community health events came as true genius during my interview but it is also a perfect example of who I am. I am driven by my heart’s desire for accessibility. I am lucky enough to work for a company where I don’t have to worry about health care but I know that there are so many that do worry. They decline or don’t seek care because they can’t afford it or they don’t know that affirming care is available specifically for them.

Because of who I am, I noticed this discrepancy and because of who I am, I couldn’t ignore it. I also knew that the leather community needed to look back to its roots inside their parent community ( LGBTQIA+) and use it’s power and knowledge to help our larger community. Staying inside the leather community wouldn’t have helped us, today, in this world we have to reach out and grasp those around us. We have to make a bridge and hold on tight.
Our community survived the AIDS crisis because we reached out with honesty and grasped onto our families, both blood and chosen and refused to let go. We survived because we reached out to the world and said, help us.

Our community survived the AIDS crisis because we reached out with honesty and grasped onto our families, both blood and chosen and refused to let go. We survived because we reached out to the world and said, help us.

Mike Blacksmith’s NV PoL speech was a powerful reminder of what is continually needed. He said “There is no room for antiquated hierarchy or toxic masculinity in leather. We must stand in harmony, we must speak our truth, and be together and THAT is Leather.”

To my peers in this room tonight hearing my words: You are the most important part of this title. Your story and experiences matter. Your connections and family matter. Remember that language is powerful and you can build bridges or burn them with your words. You are worthy of whatever you aspire to accomplish. Stand up. Speak Loud. Reach out and remember to do whatever you do with Joy. Because at the end of the day, this is an after-school activity.
It doesn’t matter that I was entrusted with this title for a year, it doesn’t matter that I’m a kinky slut whose stupid for all things pet, trampling, rope, terror, and impact related. What matters is that I was a #goodboyscout. I left this space better than I found it and have encouraged others to #cultivateexcellence.
As much as you enjoy this hobby and the wonderful experiences it brings, what matters is YOU and that whatever and however you choose to participate, it makes you happy. It improves your life and understanding of the world.

To those in this competition tonight, hearing my words, your community is the reason you are here. They are your fuel, protection, lovers and family. This will be a hard and worthy path to walk. It will change you, as it did me. It opened my eyes to possibility and need. It opened my heart to the world around me.
Remember that language is powerful and you can build bridges or burn them with your words.You are worthy of whatever you aspire to accomplish. Stand up. Speak Loud. Reach out and remember to do whatever you do with Joy.
I am passing the torch to light the bonfires of the revolution on to you. Burn bright my loves. Don’t listen to “shoulds”. Don’t Panic. Don’t let the muggles get you down but if you do fall, rise from the ashes like the goddamn phoenix you are and never, ever apologize for your light.